In a shocking statistic from the dance music community, it appears that Armin van Buuren receives over two hundred and fifty thousand unwanted hugs every year because he constantly has his arms out.
The Dutch trance DJ, best known for his impeccable impressions of Christ on the cross, made a public statement earlier today asking fans to refrain from hugging him as he feels the amount of contact he has with the public could be detrimental to his health.
Wunderground spoke to van Buuren’s manager about the DJ’s unwanted affection earlier, “First off, I’d just like to say that Armin loves his fans and that telling them to ‘fuck off’ was purely for health reasons. The poor guy is currently getting over two hundred and fifty thousand hugs a year, when you break that down, it’s nearly seven hundred hugs a day, nobody can take that level of human contact.”
“People have constantly told him ‘just put your arms down’ but it’s not that simple,” he continued. “Imagine if you’d been called Armin your whole life, naturally you’re going to want to put your arms out, he’s had his arms like that for so long that it’s become second nature to him, most of the time he doesn’t even notice that he’s got his arms out.”
According to van Buuren’s doctor, the amount of hugs the DJ receives could have long lasting effects on his health, “Hugs, from people that you know, are wonderful things, they can really help with a person’s mood and just generally make you feel good.”
“On the other hand, hugs from people you don’t know can have the complete opposite effect, they can be awkward, foul smelling and are a sure way to spread germs. Honestly, with the amount of hugs Armin is getting, I’m surprised he hasn’t been really sick, he’s been lucky so far but he needs to cut these hugs out or eventually they’ll kill him.”
Reports suggest that van Buuren could be forced to wear a straight jacket for up to twenty hours a day, only taking it off to play gigs, in an attempt to stop inviting the unwanted attention.